What to Do When Church Members Fight (Pt.2 - Corinthian Church)

In the previous blog post, we looked at 1 Corinthians 5 and learned from the apostle Paul that making out with your stepmother and bragging about it is the kind of sin that leads to disastrous consequences.

In today’s blog in 1 Corinthians 6, Paul switches gears slightly to talk about how Christians should resolve conflicts with one another. Among the many issues in the Church in Corinth, apparently, some of its members had begun to bring lawsuits against one another and take each other to court, AND IT GOT UGLY!

The question(s) at hand were, “What happens when a fellow Christian you did business with doesn’t do a good job?”

• What happens when they don’t follow through on what they promised, don’t complete the work, or you don’t get paid for what you did?

• How should Christians respond?

• Do you take them to court?

• Do you duke it out in the parking lot after the service?

• Do you remain passive and pray that they change?

Well, it’s these matters that Paul writes to address in 1 Corinthians 6 as he instructs them how Christ followers are to resolve conflict with one another.

1 CORINTHIANS 6:1-8; “If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people? 2 Or do you not know that the Lord’s people will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! 4 Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, do you ask for a ruling from those whose way of life is scorned in the church? 5 I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? 6 But instead, one brother takes another to court—and this in front of unbelievers! 7 The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? 8 Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters.”

The big idea that flows from this passage is this:

CONFLICT WITH OTHER CHRISTIANS SHOULD BE RESOLVED WITHIN THE CHURCH (and I would add, in a respectable and honorable manner).

Now, while that big idea seems simple and straightforward, it needs some explaining because Paul has in mind here a specific kind of conflict. Paul is not talking about a crime that has been committed against you; rather, he is speaking here about disputable issues, personal trivial matters, or minor sins among Christians.

• For example, if you buy a car from your friend in your small group and he tells you the car is in PERFECT CONDITION, but the next week the car completely breaks down. What do you do if your friend only wants to refund you a small percentage of what you paid rather than the full amount? Paul is trying to say here that rather than rush to bring a lawsuit against them, consider bringing in a godly and wise Christian within the Church that you both respect who will help mediate the matter.

• However, if murder has taken place, rape, treason, child abuse, etc; if a law has been broken, don’t call your small group coordinator and your senior pastor. Call law enforcement. Romans 13:1 says, God established the governing authorities for that reason!

The conflict Paul has in mind in this passage is things that fall under civil law, rather than criminal law, issues that deal with character, which, let’s be honest, most Church conflicts often are, they are trivial matters of conflict between Christians.

So, if that’s clear in your mind, I want to then show you, from this passage, 3 REASONS why SUCH conflicts among Christians must be resolved within the Church. They all flow from a series of rhetorical questions Paul asks in this passage.

1. Because of who we are destined to be and what we are destined to do.

2. Because the Whole Church loses when Christians fight one another in court.

3. Because God has given the Church Spirit-filled Human Resources.

4. Because it provides us with the opportunity to glorify God.

REASON 1: Conflict with other Christians should be resolved within the Church BECAUSE OF WHO WE ARE DESTINED TO BE AND WHAT WE ARE DESTINED TO DO.

In Paul’s reprimand of the Corinthians, he clues us into some future realities about the eternal destiny of every follower of Jesus. In verse 2 and 3, he asks, “Or do you not know that the Lord’s people will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life!”

This reference to Christians someday judging the world should bring to mind passages like Daniel 7:22 and Revelation 3:21 where it tells us that upon Jesus’ 2nd return when He sets up His Millennial kingdom, faithful believers from throughout Church history will rule alongside and participate with Him in the final judgment of fallen angels (demons).

What exactly that looks like, we don’t know. 1 John 3:2 says, “Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” There is a day coming when you will receive glorified physical bodies.

• Morally, you will be incapable of sin.

• Intellectually, you’ll be without error.

• Physically, you will be without weakness or imperfection, and most importantly, you will be filled continually with the Holy Spirit.

It’s in light of that day, what we will be and what we will do that Paul makes the case to the Corinthians and to us, which basically amounts to this: If you are one day going to have the mind of Christ and sit in God’s supreme and judge the world and judge spiritual beings in the angelic realm, aren’t you qualified to judge the everyday matters that come up among you now? ACT YOUR RANK!!

REASON TWO: Conflict with other Christians should be resolved within the Church BECAUSE THE WHOLE CHURCH LOSES WHEN CHRISTIANS FIGHT ONE ANOTHER IN COURT.

You can hear Paul’s shock at the thought of Christians hashing their issues out in a courtroom. Verse 4, “Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, do you ask for a ruling from those whose way of life is scorned in the church? 5 I say this to shame you…. 6 But instead, one brother takes another to court—and this in front of unbelievers!”

The world doesn’t need one more excuse to reject Jesus Christ, nor does the Church need to give it one more reason to smear the name of Jesus Christ! Because listen, when Christians take fellow Christians to court, you may win your case, but you’ve already lost spiritually before the case is even heard!

We claim that the Spirit of the Living God lives is us, which He does; the Spirit of power, wisdom, and counsel (love, peace, and joy). We tell people in our witness that they too can experience this should they place their trust in Christ. But when we show up in a courtroom accusing one another, and a non-Christian has to go, “Hey, would you Christians knock it off and be civil to each other”, that’s a bad witness for the WHOLE CHURCH because it wrongly suggests to them that what we claim ISN’T TRUE!

So, how has a personal conflict you have with another Christian spilled into a public arena where non-Christians are watching and observing? Allow me to be blunt:

“STOP NEUTERING THE NAME OF JESUS!”

Resolve your conflict with other Christians WITHIN the Church in a respectable and honorable manner that glorifies the name of Jesus!

REASON 3: Conflict with other Christians should be resolved within the Church BECAUSE GOD HAS GIVEN THE CHURCH SPIRIT-FILLED HUMAN RESOURCES.

If you recall in earlier chapters (3:18), the Corinthians had prided themselves as being wise, something that Paul rebuked them considering that they were acting like fools. So here, he flips that idea on them in verse 5, “[If you all are so smart],

“How is it that in the whole Church you can’t find someone wise enough to help mediate these secondary and trivial issues that is causing between you!”

Therein lies the truth principle for us. One spirit-filled Christian deciding your conflict within the Church is worth more than 10 judges in a secular court! God has placed within each body the human resources you can tap into to help resolve your conflicts.

When you and another Christian are in a conflict and cannot reconcile, find a third party you both know and respect who will act as an arbitrator; someone who will listen to your arguments and whose final decision you will both agree to honor. This person does not need to be a professional attorney. They simply need to be a professing Christian who loves the Lord, has a sense of justice and impartiality, Biblical knowledge, and are filled with the Holy Spirit, preferably someone who has demonstrated the spiritual gift of wisdom in their life.

This may be an elderly person you both know and respect, a small group leader, or a MUTUAL FRIEND. This is one of the many reasons we strongly urge you to be connected in a small group or on a ministry team with other believers you can do life with.

REASON 4: Conflict with other Christians should be resolved within the Church BECAUSE IT PROVIDES US WITH THE OPPORTUNITY TO GLORIFY GOD.

Believe it or not, conflicts in our relationships with other believers are management opportunities entrusted to us by God. It is an opportunity to demonstrate to Him, to the Church, and to the observing unbelieving world how the grace of God and the power of His Spirit can completely transform a life and turn it around.

So, we’re actually going to do this exercise together. There are four questions we must always ask ourselves at the onset of a disagreement with other believers. I am borrowing these questions from the book, “PEACEMAKER” by Ken Sande, a book I highly recommend if you want a well-thought-out Biblical guide on how to resolve conflict.

• QUESTION 1: “How can I please God and honor God, even in this ugly situation?”

I don’t know about you, but in every fight I’ve had, I was first and foremost motivated by a desire to be proved right (even when there was an inkling that I might be wrong). But, glorifying God means I need to take a breath, step back; and like the Psalmist, humbly pray, “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)

You might be surprised to find that God is ready with a quick response when you ask, “How can I please and honor you in this conflict.”

• QUESTION 2: “How can I show Jesus’ work in my life by taking responsibility for my contribution to this conflict?”

In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

So, this is that moment in a conflict when the Holy Spirit brings to your mind your role in the offense. Rather than justify your actions or excuse it, Jesus says you are to put your worship on pause, then go quickly, honestly, and directly to the person and own up to your role in the conflict.

• QUESTION 3: “How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this conflict?”

In Matthew 18:15, Jesus says “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over...”

So Jesus instructs us to engage the person who offended us directly, one-on-one; avoid having the discussion over email, through a letter, phone or text. (Things will get lost in translation).

Remember, Galatians 6:1-2 says that we are to go with a gentle attitude to point out how THEY OFFENDED US, not in attack-mode lest we ourselves fall into sin. The intention is not confrontation; it is restoration so you can win your brother or sister back.

• QUESTION 4: “Is this an offense that I need simply need to choose to overlook?”

There will be some conflicts you will have with other Christians where you simply just need to overlook the offense. Not every battle is worth fighting; some, you’ll just have to choose to not be bitter and choose not to pout, but entrust the matter to God’s better judgment.

Paul says in verse 7, “Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? 8 Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters.” Sometimes, the godliest response is to bear the wrong of another person, just as Jesus, “…Him who had no sin, became sin for us!”

So, what relationships with which Christians do you need to go and make right this week? Listen, as “heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ”, the Bible assures us that we are one day going to stand with Jesus Christ to judge the world and angels.

It’s time we lived up to our destiny.