Why Does my Child Want Hugs all the Time?

My oldest son’s love language is quality time, which means he has no intention of practicing social distancing with me. 

From the moment I walk in from work (and after washing my hands), he’s immediately on me asking, “Dad, can I get some daddy-time?” - which to him means, he wants one-on-one time with me as soon as I’m done with his siblings.  

This usually translates into him sitting alone with me on the couch, laying his head on my chest, asking me questions about my day, and him telling me about the adventures of his day. There are times, however, where we don’t even chat. We just lie down next to each other and enjoy each other’s company in silence. 

We even came up with a phrase to describe when he’s feeling like he’s gotten what his heart ached for. I’d ask, “So, is your tank full now, buddy?” To which he’d respond, “Yup, getting there. One more minute.”

PSALM 91

That experience is not unlike what the Psalmist urges us to seek out in the first two verses of the ninety-first Psalm. He says, “Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

For months prior to the coronavirus outbreak, God repeatedly brought this chapter to my mind, but I could never wrap my head around what it meant to dwell in His shelter or rest in His shadow. That’s just not language we use in every day conversation. Yet, it was important for me to figure out because it seemed that all the great promises of protection and provision in verse 3 to 16 were dependent on the conditions of the first two verses being met.

And then it hit me.

Actually, it hit me when the CDC began to advise/mandate social distancing and I gradually began spending a little more work-time at home. 

Just as my son craved one-on-one time with me, so my Father in heaven wanted me to carve out time in my day to spend some daddy-time with Him.

YOU NEED SOME “DADDY TIME” - GOD

To “dwell in the shelter of the Most High” implies that I intentionally make time to sit alone (literally) with God in the “secret place.” It means you shouldn’t be passive about making one-on-one time with God, nor should you just “squeeze in” quiet time with God between scrolling through social media and making midday pancakes because you’re now working from home. 

Dwelling in the shelter of the Most High means you should intentionally plan out your newly quarantined life so that there are moments in your day when you can be alone with God where you “rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” 

That’s the secret sauce to “claiming” the promises laid out in the rest of the chapter. When you sit quietly with and in the presence of the Most High, you will find rest in the ONE whose power no enemy can withstand. That’s what “Almighty” means, El-Shaddai! He’s the One in who’s presence all mountain-like opposition, including plague and pestilence, cower in fear. 

Let’s face it. There has never been a time (in my lifetime, anyway) where the world has shared a tragedy like this. It’s not my intention to be a fearmonger, but people, we need to be near the Father NOW more than ever! If it’s not CoVid-19, it’s the locusts in East Africa. If it’s not the Australia fires, it’s the landslides in Brazil. See where I’m going with this?

Yet, throughout the ninety-first Psalm, God promises that:

• He will save us from the fowler’s snare and from deadly pestilence (I don’t know about you, but I could use some of that right now!).

• God promises that He will cover you completely and His faithfulness will be a shield and a wall around your family (Yup! I’ll take some of that too!).

• God promises that you will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness (Hint: CoVid-19), nor the plague that stalks by noon day.

• In fact, God reassures you that though a thousand fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, it will not come near you! If you make the Lord your dwelling place, not only will no harm overtake you, but He also says He’ll send in His big guns, His angelic army to back you up! (v.11-12).

ALL OF THIS, however, is predicated on you dwelling in the shelter of the Most High and resting in the shadow of the Almighty (whose power no enemy can withstand). In other words, build into your newly quarantined lives some very intentional daddy-time with God, and He will take care of the rest!

The astonishing promises of Psalm 91 are dependent upon one’s meeting of the conditions stated in these first two verses.

OKAY, BUT THE KIDS THO!

Now, practically speaking; like many of you, my wife and I are parents too, and the idea of suddenly having your kids home all day 24/7 may seem more terrifying than the coronavirus itself. Just listen to the prayer of one desperate mother. So, this calls for a “new normal” in which you will need to develop some creative social distancing from those little critters… I mean, lovely kids.

Personally, I have found that waking up in the middle of the night, oddly enough, at 3:30am, is when I am best able to have quality daddy-time with God. I’d like to say I am diligent about setting my alarm every day for 3:30am, but in what remains an unexplainable phenomenon, I’ve been finding myself awake and alert at that same time for the last 18 months. So, I’ve come to embrace those mornings as Jesus’ way of waking me up and saying, “Hey, Shegz, can we chat now that everyone else is asleep?”

What time of the day works best for you to sit quietly with God? How about late at night when everyone has gone to bed? How about rising up a little earlier in the morning before everyone else?

If neither of those is practical, then perhaps you need to build an hour into your day where you make some PB&J or Nutella sandwiches for your kids, sit them in front of a TV, put on their favorite show(s), and threaten their lives if they bother you within that time frame. Just sayin!

However it is you choose to quiet things down, it is of utmost importance during this new-normal season of our lives to NOT socially distance ourselves from our Father in heaven. Quite frankly, you can’t afford to. Your family’s well-being depends on it.

I leave you with the last words of this beautiful hymn,

“If ever I loved Thee, Lord Jesus, ’tis now.”

Go! Get some daddy-time! 

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